I love to feed people. There, I have said it, I openly admit to my feeder trait!
I enjoy the whole process. From inviting people to come to my home for food, to finding out their preferences and any ingredients to avoid. I like searching through my (substantial) collection of recipe books, planning what I am going to cook and then sourcing it, and spending time preparing meals I hope they will enjoy. Sharing food is certainly one of the ways in which I show love. As a consequence, I have delivered food to a lot of people, and I get a genuine kick out of seeing people enjoy the food I prepare. I don't feel nervous when I throw dinner parties in this way.
A little bit of that same love has to go into my business bakes as well - it is a universal fact that you cannot make a light and fluffy sponge if you are in a bad mood (same goes for scrambles egg FYI), and obviously I want my customers to be pleased with their bakes. But the difference I guess is that I am not sharing my bakes with customers (that would be weird - if I demanded a slice back of any cake I delivered!), and so their response happens behind closed doors
And so come the nerves! Handing over the final bake is always accompanied by the flutter of tummy butterflies, and I suspect a squeaky verbal outpouring of phrases such as "I hope you like it...I hope it's as you were expecting...I hope it tastes good...".
Maybe its because I am a sole trader, with nowhere to hide. Maybe it is because my business is still very new and I am still building my confidence. Maybe it is because there is a real element of creativity in baking, especially for cakes which I decorate and which I know are going to be a central part of a families celebration ritual, like a birthday cake. Or maybe is because it really matters to me that customers are receiving a cake they are delighted with.
Sometimes I hope that the nerves will improve over time, but maybe I shouldn't wish for this. Maybe the nerves show that I care, and I should embrace them. Maybe when the nerves stop, it will be time to hang up my sieve!
So if I appear on your doorstep, jibbering like a nervous wreck as I hand over your box of goodies, forgive me. It is just my nerves showing you the love!